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The Should Shift

How Changing One Word In Your Vocabulary Can Transform Your Whole Life



How often do we use the word should?

We talk about how things could be, in an idealistic, perfect kind of world way.

We should be getting paid more.

We should exercise. We should eat better. We should call that friend and make a date. We should spend more time doing the things we love. We should be happier.


Living in this broken world, there will always be plenty of room for “shoulds”. We feel and sense and see the lack, the injustice, the imbalance and the needs all around us every day. Those pains are all real, and part of reality.


On a personal level, this can penetrate into our mindset and reflect on even our self-worth. We should be better at this. We should be more motivated. We should be farther along by now.


Listen to the echo in those words. What is the resounding energy? Helplessness. Resentment. Frustration. Maybe some guilt. Whatever it conjures up, it’s definitely not uplifting. Focusing on what should be can get us stuck in a place of powerlessness, defeat and over time, even depression. I speak from experience.


What if we could turn that all around with just one word?


I am known to get in my head and circle around situations that have no resolution, overanalyze and spin. Just me?


Thankfully, I have a helpful tip that we can all use RIGHT NOW to get us up out of that muck and onto a totally new path.


Try this: Think of a simple sentence where you frequently use “should” in your life. Now, replace it with the work “could”.

Say it out loud. Do you feel that?


For Instance:


I should spend more time with my kids>>>I could spend more time with my kids.

I should eat more vegetables>>>I could eat more vegetables.

I should take a walk>>>I could take a walk.


You have instantly just changed your mentality to be on the receiving end of a bad deal, to being in the driver’s seat again. It’s no longer a hopeless situation, but an option on the table that reflects your personal values, and actually has the potential to get carried out. It’s moving from an all or nothing, perfect world way of thinking, to a “do what I can with what I have, every little thing matters, and I can find a way to start” mindset shift. HUGE.




That helplessness, resentment, frustration and guilt now transforms into hope, empowerment, vision and excitement! Imagine what you could do! Instead of feeling stuck, you are choosing to allow the wheels to start turning, so that you can begin making a real plan towards what could be. All by shifting one little word.


Maybe now you look for that extra 5 to 10 minutes to sit and play with your child instead of scrolling your phone. Maybe you pick up some extra veggies at the grocery store later and steam them up with dinner. Maybe you and your partner take an evening walk around the block before you watch your favorite show. At the end of the day, it all started with the possibility of making a change-and that came from your mind.


Often times we put limits on ourselves, not because we can’t actually achieve something or lack the drive or skills, but rather because of the way we are thinking. The power we have to change our minds is arguably THE most powerful tool we own to direct our lives. It permeates our every action, trickling down from our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Exploring this is exciting and intricate, and can be very telling as we learn about ourselves. The beautiful part is that our brains, our beliefs and our souls are all capable of transformation. And because of that, so are out lives.


If you are frustrated with something in your life, try this on and let me know if it helps shift things for you. Never give up growing ;)



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